The Grind

Sometimes, It's hard not to stay up, twitching. And I know it's not just the caffienne.

It's that constant, nagging urge to create, to work, to micromanage and seek advantage, work work work. It's been getting me pretty bad, lately.

Alot of work. Projects, organization, deals with spirits, and field trips into the city. Sometimes alone. Sometimes after curfew. But I work dilligently to help out. I hope everyone sees it, and I hope none of them have ever been managers.

Because there is something any manager worth their salt can see. Dilligent workers are all just procrastinators, taking up tasks to avoid another specific one they are unwilling to face. It may be that I'm working hard just because... And it may just happen to help keep my mind off the hellish parts of these last two weeks, the unfinished business and the fears of dangerous liasons with bad men in black suits and fathers you'll never be able to face about the truth, wondering how long you can hide it all from a world trying to get in.

Trying to juggle, personal pursuits you won't even share with your roommates, delving into social engineering and secret manuevering and espionage-slash-information extruding...

Finding out who caught the worst fifteen seconds of your life on tape...

Finding out why you were left behind when you should've been brought along...

Facing a challenge everyone tells you is both crazy and noble to persue...

Facing a world of analogy and ephemera where your greatest allies lie underfoot.

Maybe it was a wake-up call, and maybe that's just the scarring talking. either way, things have changed. Not seeing that and fighting change is how you lose. Adaptation is the way that you continue, even in the absence of anyone who can help. Adaptation is what Glass walkers do. it's what I do, now. And if adapting to struggle means working my ass off for no pay and maybe a few whispered asides of praise, but in the silence that work makes one human's life better, one Garou's fight easier, one Spirit's brood stronger...

Well, then maybe it's all worth it.

-Daniel