Daring to Dream

Like most people, I dream on the rare nights I get a decent sleep, and fate, Gaia, whatever sees it fit for me to remember the erratic chain of thoughts linking through fitful fifteen minute bursts of REM sleep. These days when I dream, it's usually two things (or, i remember two.)

The first.. I think alot about the city. The buildings, the people, the reflections of shining glass towers and the people that built them and fill them. It's a shadows and light, black and white feeling, when I wake up. There's glory... but also, painful evil there. The potential keeps me coming back, but the failures of the city as a utopian construct detract from the grandiose nature of the modern urban cityscape.. and leave me empty.

But, I also see another city... A city of towering, impossibly majestic buildings, stretching from a lush deck of respected natural landscaping that rings with purity, to an orderly sky filled with dark etched lines like the traces of a celestial circuitboard. Utopian and pure in the ways our cities aren't, built for community, brimming with a compassion that's required to achieve such lofty architecture.

I guess there's two ways I intrperet the latter sort of dreams, while the first grounds me in reality and reminds me of what is now, instead of what could or will be. Maybe I'm just superimposing some Ayn Rand on vague descriptions of the Cyberrealm, some Freudian impulse placing idealized conditions upon a locale that is, until I can find someone much more skilled than I, entirely out of reach despite it's draw. If not that, then the imagined realm is serving as a rash metaphor for my own percieved notions of perfection laced with the reality of the cityscape.

Broken down that way, I guess it seems trivial, and silly.. But when I wake up and have one of those images fresh in my mind, it brews a level of hope. No matter what is going on, it feels like, there is a better world, a better city with the conscious intent to help those that dwell in it achieve a higher standard of living. I wish my dreams would just give up the intermediate steps, from here to there, an point me to the right course to change the blights our citiies really are, beneath a false facade.

Still, I think tonight I'll have a reprieve, and maybe a break from such a tease of a vision. Alex offered to go hang out and get dinner and a movie, and I went along and took th chance to explain my recent findings on the stadium over some pizza. the next part, well....

There's something that's just, Surreal about watching a war movie about heroes, real and percieved, sitting next to a Morningkill. It makes conversation unsettling, I guess. I can't help but wonder what's going through his mind, with a legacy and the pressure of generations and all. I mean, A powerful movie that implies the weight of two generatiosn of decorated veterans really pales next to the sort of lines we Garou have, dating back hundreds of years. I guess Alex has felt the way a good memorial sort of movie makes you feel for most of his life.

Tomorrow, I guess there's some sort of follow up meeting to our arrival. I am praying a ranking theurge of the 'Walkers appears out of thin air, but I somehow doubt it will happen. Other than that little thought, I really don't know what tomorrow will bring.

[Reflective and Exhausted]
-Daniel